Wednesday, August 04, 2010 

            You are making this shit up

I was watching videos on youtube.... saw the Clash 's Lost in the Supermarket... after the video is an ad for AARP ....the lobby group for senior citizens.... yes Joe Strummer and punks were born in circa 1952 and would be eligible for senior discounts...with that bright pink combover ....decorating your handicap parking decal with rad skulls... bumper stickers I'm Shooting Up My Kid's Inheritance and a needlepoint square in a frame that says Fuck the Man

a friend of mine just sort of disappeared... it's all about patterns....some friends I don't see for months on end and well big deal.... but this guy was at the bar every night playing pinball and suddennly it stopped.... after 10 days I started asking if anyone had seen him... he is a lawyer and was supposed to be in court the other day for another friend and did not appear....ok that's it he's missing but why and where and how do I find out if he doesn't answer the phone... I was very tired the other night and this was definitely on my brain...the case of the missing pinball addict attorney.... I slept then got up and went down to the bar for some water and he walked in with another friend of mine....grea he's ok  and I went back to bed...the next morning I got up and wasn't sure if I saw him or dreamed I saw him... so I decide to call the friend who I saw him with but I had lost her number in the last phone I pissed on....so go through my existing contact list to find someone who might have her number ...find someone but that's another story and My having to convince a person I have known for over 10 years that I am  not a stalker and it's ok to give me her number so I can find out if my friend is still alive...to say the least pissed me the fuck off..that wasn't a dream but had all the qualities of a frustration dream....the only reason it makes sense is because you are asleep and your subconscious makes stupid shit believable

it was a dream seeing my friend ...how do I know.... he showed up last night and told me it must have been a dream...at least I had practiced what I'd say to him when he appeared....I have many dreams about the building but they always are so not the building...secret chambers and well just so off from the reality of the architecture of the space.... but this one was so banal and exactly how it really is... odd when the sleep world so closely merges with the conscious world... to the point reality is no more than a very active act of imagination...it's so true that I am just making shit up as I go along