Beurocratic Mess

   

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 

                       

I’m sorry i dripped shit down your government hallway

   

Someone sent me an email that reminded me of my     struggles in 2003 to get a building permit for my second story     residence...my friend Allen was my architect and did all the plans for $1     and the right to continue to be loved even though he often makes poor     choices while drunk on the second floor....it took several months to get     his plans approved but finally the day came for me to go down to the     building permit office and get my approved plans...when i got there and was     trying to figure out where to pick up the plans my stomach/intestines     started to knot up and ...oh my god Ive got diarrhea....where's the     bathroom?...i try to pinch my sphincter and do that sorta goose step walk in     the likely direction of the toilet...down the hall pass 15 desks of city     inspectors is the international restroom sign but it's too late and shit     starts breaking out my ass and dripping down my leg...i see little brown     dots start to follow my path on the linoleum hallway....i get to the     restroom and explode...then wash my legs off in the sink and decide it best     to go home ....so I walk back past all those city officials working at     their desks and follow my 25 foot trail of liquid shit ....and well threw some     pants away in the outside garbage and got my plans the next     day....admittedly this is not one of the stories I hold with great     pride....and dork is probably the most complementary thing one could say     about me but if I only had one shitting in my pants story ,,,this a     keeper......speaking of shit the Marimba Band is tonight at11

   

12:38 AM 

   

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German Scientist

Saturday, August 29, 2009 

         

German Scientist

 

I was hanging out with this German dude who gave MRI's to   rats and monkeys at the med center..so I asked how do you make the rat stay   still? he gives the rat an anesthetic...so you are examining cocaine   addiction...so this rat is amped up on a few lines and then you knock them   out while high and attach electrodes to their brain...germans doing   'science''''why don't you just hang out at a bar and take snap shots of   brains...instead of  using party animals in the lab
  then I talked to Pablo from Rio de Janeiro....you know Pablo I have met   everyone from South America in this bar except someone from   Bolivia..."Bolivians,,,they all look alike with those wide fat   faces...consider yourself lucky cause they suck" thanks for the word up   Pablo